Republicans to Search for New Mythology

[Kudos to Joe Scarborough, of MSNBC's Morning Joe, for pointing out that while Barack Obama and the Democrats are working to save the nation, the Republicans are still focused just on trying to save the Republican Party.]

The Republican Mythology Defined

Over the Past Twenty-Eight Years, since the 1980 Reactionary Revolution, the Republican Party has pinned its star to the Libertarian-like hypothesis of government as problem, such that government must be kept as small as possible....

....and that markets should be kept as unrestrained as possible....

....and that free markets encourage competition and growth....

....and that the efficiency of markets reins in the otherwise-inevitable
bubbles and recessions and depressions
that wreak havoc on the economy of a country.

Oh, yes: and that taxes must be driven lower and lower, to stimulate the economy and produce consistently increasing tax revenues....

All This “Voodoo Economics” Has Formed the Mythology of the Republican Party for longer than many Americans can remember.

Now, the Mythology Has Been Exposed

The American Markets Are in Ruin. None of this is news.

The “Free Market” Turns out to Cost about $12,000,000,000,000 more than the Republicans, including former-Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, thought.

The Perennially Lowered Taxes Turned out to Be a Tax Deferral, not a tax decrease.

In the Words of Alan Greenspan, the Republican side of things is discombobulated into “a state of shocked disbelief.”

The Arguments for Lower Taxes and Higher Tax Revenues, and unfettered and efficient markets–these arguments are over.

The Free-Market, Low-Tax Mythology of the Republican Party Is Dead.

As Long as the Underlying Premises Remain Null and Void—and so long as the failure of those premises remains unacknowledged—the Republican Party will remain stymied in its efforts at “trying to save the Republican Party.”

The Republicans Just Need to Go Back to the Drawing Board and figure out something completely different. They need an entirely new way of looking at things.

And While the Republican Party Is Kept Busy saving its own ATM card–

–the Democrats and the rest of “the Real America” will continue paying off all that debt, and otherwise working to save the country.

NEWS FLASH! America’s Financial Crisis: Fortune 500 CEOs Respond

Channeling Barack Obama™ has received the following open letter to the American people:

Dear Fellow Americans:

We, the Undersigned CEOs of Companies on Fortune Magazine’s list of the 500 largest American companies, have stood quietly on the sidelines while Congress and the American people debate the solutions to the overwhelming crisis of our national economy. We understand that many citizens do not fully understand the exact nature the crisis, nor how we—each of whom makes a salary of tens of millions of dollars—screwed it up.

But That’s Just What We’ve Done. We’ve screwed it up.

And Now We Come to the American People with our hats in our hand. We need your help.

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, on Our Behalf, has asked Congress to put together a plan to take away the obstacles that are shutting down the credit markets and making it impossible for businesses to continue doing business, and for citizens to buy houses or cars, or to use credit cards.

If Congress Does Not Act—and Quickly—the entire credit system of the United States will stop. What we will have is a major disaster. And so we need Congress’s help, and the resources of the United States Treasury—which money ultimately belongs to you.

To Show Our Understanding of What the American Taxpayer Faces with such a large plan, we would like to make the following accommodation, out of respect for your great sacrifice:

Effective with the Signing of the Economic Rescue Package, we, the undersigned CEOs, will voluntarily reduce our own salaries to a number that is 14 times the average pay of each company’s salaried employees.

Whole Foods, Inc., the Nation’s Largest Organic-Grocery Market, has used this salary cap for years. It has served Whole Foods well. This cap serves as an ideal guideline for how American corporate leaders should be compensated in the future.

In the Meantime, All Salary Above This Cap, until our salaries are renegotiated, we will give to the United States Treasury, to be used as will best serve America’s financial needs right now.

America Is in Crisis. We, the undersigned CEOs, appreciate the willingness of the American people to step up. The extra millions of dollars that we CEOs have at our disposal are the least we can offer, in gratitude for the generosity of the American people.

To Our Fellow American Citizens, we say:

Thank you, and God Bless America.

(Signed)

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Conservatives Have Been Rushed Too Often

We Americans Have Been Rushed in the Wrong Direction Too Many Times by the current presidential administration, and the current situation looks like more of the same: a proposal which somehow protects Wall Street and its CEOs, while putting the rest of America at greater risk.

Genuine Conservative Americans have been at a loss in the current political circumstance. But the choice of feckless Republicans has not been the answer. Our sad, recent history shows this.

It Is Time to Refine Our Ideologies. With the factual evidence of the past eight years, we now know that regulation, always imperfect, is also always necessary. Laws and regulations mitigate unfettered greed and recklessness. Conservatives must find a better way.

No One Likes to Be Regulated or Taxed. But a government without controls--or without income--is a crippled government going over the falls. And a Congress which rushes always to the aid of the ship, while consistently ignoring the passengers, will eventually founder.

Fortunately for America, Congress Is Not Cowed This Time. The bipartisan cooperation currently rises to meet the high expectations of the American public. Those expectations shall not be disappointed. In times of dire crisis—when it really matters—the United States Congress comes through.

The Success of the Barack Obama Campaign to date, meanwhile, shows that the presidential candidate knows how to manage. Against formidable opponents along the way, he has demonstrated an agile ability to learn as he goes along. The Nation currently rushes toward a Niagara Falls of economic distress. At the helm, we want a clear head, undistracted by ideology, with a pragmatism that represents the finest spirit of the American people.

My Name Is Not Barack Obama, and Barack Obama does not even know about this message.


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