Monday, September 29, 2008

NEWS FLASH! America’s Financial Crisis: Fortune 500 CEOs Respond


Channeling Barack Obama™ has received the following open letter to the American people:


Dear Fellow Americans:

We, the Undersigned CEOs of Companies on Fortune Magazine’s list of the 500 largest American companies, have stood quietly on the sidelines while Congress and the American people debate the solutions to the overwhelming crisis of our national economy. We understand that many citizens do not fully understand the exact nature the crisis, nor how we—each of whom makes a salary of tens of millions of dollars—screwed it up.

But That’s Just What We’ve Done. We’ve screwed it up.

And Now We Come to the American People
with our hats in our hand. We need your help.

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, on Our Behalf, has asked Congress to put together a plan to take away the obstacles that are shutting down the credit markets and making it impossible for businesses to continue doing business, and for citizens to buy houses or cars, or to use credit cards.

If Congress Does Not Act—and Quickly—
the entire credit system of the United States will stop. What we will have is a major disaster. And so we need Congress’s help, and the resources of the United States Treasury—which money ultimately belongs to you.

To Show Our Understanding of What the American Taxpayer Face
s with such a large plan, we would like to make the following accommodation, out of respect for your great sacrifice:

Effective with the Signing of the Economic Rescue Package, we, the undersigned CEOs, will voluntarily reduce our own salaries to a number that is 14 times the average pay of each company’s salaried employees.

Whole Foods, Inc., the Nation’s Largest Organic-Grocery Market, has used this salary cap for years. It has served Whole Foods well. This cap serves as an ideal guideline for how American corporate leaders should be compensated in the future.

In the Meantime, All Salary Above This Cap, until our salaries are renegotiated, we will give to the United States Treasury, to be used as will best serve America’s financial needs right now.

America Is in Crisis. We, the undersigned CEOs, appreciate the willingness of the American people to step up. The extra millions of dollars that we CEOs have at our disposal are the least we can offer, in gratitude for the generosity of the American people.

To Our Fellow American Citizens,
we say:

Thank you, and God Bless America.


(Signed)

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