Tuesday, July 22, 2008

NEWS FLASH! President Bush Announces Time-Horizon for Withdrawal

[A Hypothetical Media Encounter Somewhere in Iraq]

IRAQ—Speaking in Iraq Earlier Today,
leading presidential contender Barack Obama spoke to the President’s decision to set a time-horizon for withdrawing American troops from Iraqi soil. Said Obama, “I congratulate George Bush for having the strength of character to change directions and show the Iraqi people the respect they deserve.”

“Furthermore,” Obama Continued, “on behalf of the American people, I would like to thank President Bush for giving us what we have wished for as a nation: an honorable conclusion to this unfortunate war, and for allowing us to redirect our attention to getting the perpetrators of September 11 and to seeing our brave men and women of the military safely home.”

Said Obama, “It is Time to Restore Faith and Trust in the American dollar and in the nation as a whole. It’s time to get back to the sound and humane fiscal policies that will help America face the many new challenges, to energy and the environment. Now we can move forward at last, so that the next time the world calls on America, America will again be in a position to answer.”

In Response to a Followup Question—Referring to Iraq Withdrawal-Deadlines, Iran negotiations, and acknowledgment of environmental changes—whether the President’s change of course constituted “flip-flopping,” Barack Obama said, “While some pundits will take the opportunity to label these decisions flip-flopping, I believe these changes represent President Bush’s growing understanding of America’s role in the future of the world, in terms of politics, in terms of the environment, in terms of the price of oil, and in terms of our challenged economy. These recent statements by George W. Bush show growth and change that he can be proud of. And for those Americans who have opposed the Administration’s policies for so long, President Bush’s correction of those policies is like the return of the prodigal son.”

The “Prodigal Son" refers to a parable in the New Testament, which mentions a young man who gathered his share of his father’s property and took “a journey into a far country,” where he “squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need.”

When the Son Decided to Return Home, “his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.” (from Luke 15:13-24, The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles.)

Senator Obama Is Visiting Afghanistan and Iraq in connection with his duties as a United States Senator.