A Rock-Thrown Letter About Voter I.D. in Texas

Recently We Received a Copy of the Following Letter, wrapped around a brick thrown through the window of our Austin, Texas, offices:

Dear Texas Senator & Fellow Stalwart Republican:

Thank you for focusing your energy on purifying the electoral races of the American voter here in Texas, with the Senate Bill 362.

The idea that somebody might steal a true American’s vote and sneak illegal ballots into the voting box aims a arrow of terror right at the heart of this Real American.

Your proposed voter-ID legislation is about as timely and essential a piece of legislation that faces the people of Texas and the United States of America today.

However, I have a important question about how this new ID will work:

Recently, my wife and I had our house foreclosed on, and since then, we have been living in the back of our Chevy Astrovan. When we apply for the identification to vote in the elections, what address should we use:

A) Our foreclosed former home (No one else lives there yet)?

B) The address where we park to sleep most nights. (Wal-Mart is very nice to let us do this)?

C) The polling place where we used to vote for the past forty-four years, before we lost our jobs?

Senator, you have more important things to deal with right now than writing a letter back to me. But it sure is important to me and the wife that we don't miss out on our right to vote.

With the National government in the hands of the “other party,” Americans no longer have the careful watchdogs of responsible fiscal policy at the helm. But despite our homeless plight and the low price that aluminum cans now fetch at the recycling place, we have every confidence that as soon as the Republicans are back in control, America will see nothing but blue skies—and legal voters—from now on.

Sincerely,
Tom DeLay*


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* Ha-ha! (Not my real name.)